Ford jokes

[Z28SSMAN]

Ok guys, don't be little bitches and complain...


The people who say they'd rather push a Ford than drive a Chevy usually do!

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "if you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lollypops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"

What is the difference between a porcupine and a Ford?
Porcupines have pricks on the outside...

What does the GT stand for on a Mustang GT?
Glued together!

Yo mamma's so stupid, she stared at a Ford for an hour because it said "Focus."

MUSTANG - Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes

Fork Over Remaining Dough

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I've had my Ford for most a week.
If it blows away before I awake,
Don't get me another, for Heaven's sake.

[MR.hp]

Buy a Ford, Drive a mile walk the rest.

[Titan5]

[Fast One]

Fdlfdf

[Z28SSMAN]

Q. What's the difference between a Ford and the principal's office?
? A. It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.

* Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If it wasn't for Fords
Our tools would rust.

Q. How do you make a Ford go faster downhill?
A. Turn off the engine.

Q. Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
A. So FORD owners have a safe place to walk home.

[MR.hp]

Q. Why did Ford use 4 valves in cobra engines?
A. Because 2 or 3 valves couldn't get the job done. LOL

[MR.hp]

Old Mother Hubbard went to her Garage
To take her Ford out for a spin,
But when she got there, the garage was bare,
They had sold her old Ford for some Gin. :rlol:


Now I lay me down to sleep,
I've had my Ford for most a week.
If it blows away before I awake,
Don't get me another, for Heaven's sake.



The Ford is my auto, I shall not want another.
It maketh me to lie beneath it.
It soureth my soul.
It leadeth me in the paths of ridicule for its name sake.
Yea, though I ride through the valleys, I am towed up the hills.
And I fear much evil for they rods and thy engines discomforteth me.
I annoint thy tire with patches. Thy radiator runneth over.
I prepare for blow-outs in the presence of mine enemies.
Surely if this thing follow me all the days of my life,
I shall dwell in the bug-house forever.


Why is the Ford like a millionaire baby?
Because it has a new rattle every day.:roll_lol:



Q. Why must Ford cars be painted red?
A. Because there is a law saying that all tin cans containing gasoline must be painted red.



Henry Ford, the man who made walking a pleasure.:lol:


"Gee! I had a peach of a girl on the string -- but I dumped her."
"Why?"
"I found out her name."
"Why, what was it?"
"Iona Ford!" :rlol:



A gallon of gasoline and a quart of oil,
A piece of wire to make a coil,
An old tin can and a piece of board,
And there you are, you have a Ford:rlol:

[MR.hp]

I went to a couple of car dealerships last week. At first I stopped at was Kia. Well nothing caught my eye, but the price was right.

Then I went to a Ford dealer. I didn't really find anything I liked, but every car had a pair of shoes in the trunk.

At last I went to the Chevy dealer. Well I see one that I like. The dealer does the once over with me, then he pops the trunk. Disapointed, I looked at the dealer and said: "Well, theres something missing."

The dealer puzzled asks: "What?"

I said: "At the Ford dealership I checked out, they had a new pair of shoes in the trunk of every car!"

Smiling the dealer says: "That's so they can walk home!":rlol:

[MR.hp]

HENRY FORD ENTERING HEAVEN


At the gates of Heaven, the angel tells Henry Ford, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention, the car, changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven."
Henry Ford thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang with Adam, the first man." So, the angel points Adam out to Ford.
When Ford gets to Adam, Ford asks, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of the woman?"
Adam says, "Yes."
"Well, says Ford, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much front end protrusion.
2. It chatters at high speeds.
3. The rear end wobbles too much.
4. And the intake is placed too close to the exhaust."
"Hmmm...", says Adam, "Hold on." So Adam goes to the celestial supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. The computer prints out a slip of paper and Adam reads it.


Adam says "It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to the stellar computer, more men are riding my invention than yours.":rlol:

[Z28SSMAN]

Q. Why does Ford need 4 cams, 32 valves and a S/C to compete with a N/A, 16 valve 1 cam GM or a 12 valve, 1 cam V-6 turbo GM ?

A. That's a question still without an answer.

[ratrod 1]

i like fords....:fail:

[DNeinstadt]

:yawn:

:)

[MR.hp]

:yawn:

:)

Ok Dan put up some chevy jokes or mopar ones like

Move
Over
People
Are
Racing :laugh_smile: