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Mary had a little pig;
She kept it fat and plastered.
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard..
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill,
And now they have a son.
Simple Simon met a pie man
going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass!'
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses
And all the kings' men
Had scrambled eggs
For breakfast again.
Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
Then died of electric shock.
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad...
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
She kept it fat and plastered.
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard..
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill,
And now they have a son.
Simple Simon met a pie man
going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass!'
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses
And all the kings' men
Had scrambled eggs
For breakfast again.
Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
Then died of electric shock.
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad...
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
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