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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station.....
And that’s how the fight started....
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would
make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that’s how the fight started.
After retiring, I went to*the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later. The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my
shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest
is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application. When
I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience*at the Social Security
office. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten disability, too’.
And that’s how the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
table. My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those
many years ago, and**I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’ ‘My
God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And that’s how the fight started.....
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just
get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t
believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me,
and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’ So, I looked down at him and said,
‘Well then which one are you?’
And that’s how the fight started.....
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. ‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.’ He said,
‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’ ‘Nah, she can order for herself.’
And that’s how the fight started.....
:rlol:
expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station.....
And that’s how the fight started....
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would
make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that’s how the fight started.
After retiring, I went to*the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later. The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my
shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest
is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application. When
I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience*at the Social Security
office. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten disability, too’.
And that’s how the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
table. My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those
many years ago, and**I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’ ‘My
God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And that’s how the fight started.....
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just
get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t
believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me,
and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’ So, I looked down at him and said,
‘Well then which one are you?’
And that’s how the fight started.....
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. ‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.’ He said,
‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’ ‘Nah, she can order for herself.’
And that’s how the fight started.....
:rlol: