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A Preposition Lesson
On my 53rd birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The
certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby reservation who was
rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to
the shaman, and wondered what I was in for. The old man slowly, methodically
produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder,
warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a
teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will be longer and harder
than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
I was encouraged. As he walked away, I turned and asked, "How do I stop
the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' the shaman responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
I was eager to see if it worked. I went home, showered, shaved, took a
spoonful of the medicine, and then invited Jaynene to join me in the
bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, I
was the manliest of men.
Jaynene was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she
asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?" And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a
preposition.
On my 53rd birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The
certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby reservation who was
rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to
the shaman, and wondered what I was in for. The old man slowly, methodically
produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder,
warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a
teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will be longer and harder
than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
I was encouraged. As he walked away, I turned and asked, "How do I stop
the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' the shaman responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
I was eager to see if it worked. I went home, showered, shaved, took a
spoonful of the medicine, and then invited Jaynene to join me in the
bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, I
was the manliest of men.
Jaynene was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she
asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?" And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a
preposition.
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